kobole ama fourty bob
by MargieCiku Posted on 03/08/2014
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The size of a coin is not equivalent to its value. So are you a one shilling coin; the big or the small silver one, a five bob coin; the small round one or the big with many corners, ten bob coin or twenty bob coin, the famous ‘kilucy’ coin, a fifty cent coin or none of the above? Round or cornered? Rough or smooth? Don’t answer yet.

Here is a simply summarized story of my life.

 It’s a new weeks and I believe all and sundry are psyched up ready to start the week’s agenda. Well, many claim a week is determined by how your Monday blues fade away but I say a week is determined by your certainty that it is a unique new day. It doesn’t mean that whatever good or bad that happens today will automatically have to repeat or dictate your tomorrow, No!!! It simply means that you have the power to change the fate of every new day you have on earth as it’s your present from God. Therefore whatever the day presents you with today, take it with a light and positive note or else you will end up with one grumpy week.

I recall a time I thought my life was a total mess because nothing seemed to go right, nothing on my want or need list seemed to work and as expected I assumed God was way asleep. Little did I know as I watched my life drown in sorrow, the so many opportunities lingering my way just evaporated without a warning. Instead of grabbing the opportunities all I did was wail, curse and claim how God is not considering my pleas. Ever been in such a situation? Hope is not gone.

I could wake up wondering what the day held for me, tried praying but would either end up saying three words ; thank you Jesus or cry uncontrollably for no reason. I would try my level best to maneuver between the day’s hurdles with my own understanding of life but most of the time I was cursing everything that didn’t go my way, sneering and frowning at every little ‘unfair’ detail. If I dropped something I automatically declared myself careless. If I didn’t understand something or have a way out of it, I turned to a stupid fool who couldn’t make any decision. If I couldn’t even think of something to cook in the evening then I automatically became useless. Huh! I really didn’t lack any negative thought to feed my soul.

I started pushing away my friends, pushed away even my family and all I was left with was my cold isolated bed, my movies to fantasize on, my space and more of the isolated Me; leader of the ‘ME Team’. If I had a problem it would eat me up and the results, I found myself under so much medication that it hurt. I got involved with the wrong people I thought were my friends and all I could see was how God was unfair as no relationship, no job, nothing worked out. Years passing by, my biological clock still ticking loud and fast and there I was without a stable career or a stable relationship with neither God, man nor even my family; indeed I was set for trouble. I needed a breakthrough like yesterday but there seemed to be none coming through anytime soon, so I thought.

By the way do not even think of feeling pity for me because I came to learn that God was not asleep, I was the one with the problem with my coins’ sizes.

I could share my issues with those I thought cared and try heed to their advice but due to my weak faith and indecisiveness I would give up on the way. A stack of inspirational books lay on my table and yes I am an advocate of those books but something just could erase all I had read through only to catapult me back to where I was before, in darkness.

God is great as one day I made a decision of not letting go my life to waste and made a major turn in life of taking control of my life and letting god use me as a vessel not worrying about tomorrow and so far I love my life because all regret is gone. Just like Moses, David and other biblical figures argued with God of how they were not strong to do what God needed them to do, so did i think of myself; weak. But the Bible says that with God’s grace upon one’s life, it works in one’s life irrespective of all you may have done in life. God cannot test you on something He knows you cannot handle and the fact that I was and still is alive, then my purpose in life was and is not yet fulfilled and I have to fulfill it, all I needed was to know it, work on it following Gods will.

A step a day and I am a changed person. It is not an easy journey to pull out the roots of pessimism and nurturing ones broken self-esteem but it is worth it. Life is not all about things going on smoothly without challenges or being the best in everything you do without ups and downs. If it were so then life would be so boring. Imagine doing some sit-ups or press ups and instead of going up and down all you do is stay down chance is you will get bored and sleep forever and others will pass on top of you leaving you frustrated on the ground. As a toddler, if you didn’t fall and rise up again while you were learning how to walk then you would probably still be crawling till today.

You may be in the deepest pit in life but God’s grace will lift you up and you will be elevated. The Grace of God is for you and me. Do not despair for He is with you. It doesn’t matter how useless, foolish or bad others have told and made you feel. Don’t wait for people to tell you what you are worth. Right now, take a step and accept the Grace of God into your life because you have value towards God. You are so full of value that He sent his son to die on the cross for you and me. It all starts with your inner self. If your value is equivalent to the size of a coin then…………….


prof     prof     prof

Margie Ciku
About the Writer MargieCiku

Gods people perish because of lack of knowledge, let us use this platform as a media to inform and mentor each other, to impact knowledge on whatever issue that needs assistance that we may curb sin for you cannot sin if you have the knowledge.


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