DAWN OF THE PLANET EVE : WOMEN ARE THE NEW MEN
by NyandiaGachago Posted on 09/08/2014
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It was Eid!!!! We celebrated with our Muslim Brothers and Sisters especially because of their culinary skills. Oh don't judge me! If you think you're not blessed to have a Muslim neighbour or roomie, you kid yourself. 
AAAANYWAAAAY *JoelMcHale's voice

I'm here to talk about the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. WOMEN ARE THE NEW MEN. It is a fact which we could debate about and I'd win. Here's a few reasons why it is so:

1.DRINKING

Oh yaaas! We are the new tanks in town, it's like keggers were added or incorporated in our stomachs. Basically nowadays, we have very little blood in our alcohol. (see what I did there) Women at clubs or parties or even in their homes, will be the last 'man' standing if you were to have a beer pong fight. Worse, if you were to down some chilled dry vodka. She will drain an entire Jameson 750ml then go slaughter a turkey to cook for dinner. 

2. MPANGO WA KANDO AKA SIDE DISH AKA GACUNGWA

So you think men are the real sugar daddy business experts? Oh honey you have no idea what women are capable of. With all the empowerment that has been fed to them... A woman will pick a college boy from a club, drive him home after mad clubbing, fuck his shallow brains out while demanding him to do things which he probably cannot even pronounce and she, returning the favor... Then at 3:00a.m she will give him 3,000 Bob and kick his ass out without even asking for his name. Women never did this back in the day and if they did it was really chini ya maji you know. 
More married women are having toyboys than anyone thinks. You see some of the chamas women go to, trips and all.... Trust me they're not much but mobile male brothel operandi. Some of the women will literally house the boy while catering to all his monetary needs, even buy him a car. Most sugar daddies are only after the cookie and are just like our politicians, full or promise and screaming crowing cocks but in reality, we have all seen the size of its pecker. 

3.POWER

Back then, I remember women being less aggressive, more humble and obedient. But with titles and crazy promotions comes power and it's sad that this power gets into our heads faster then the word Ding dong. So after work, she will go home to a husband who will be asked to make dinner for the kids as she is too tired and needs to meet up with her girls as it is Wednesday (girls night out) and Lord knows that that bottle of vodka at the club won't drink itself. After all, it is her money. 

4. SEX

OK ill tread carefully oh but what the heck! Men dominated the bedroom... Women loved being dominated. Don't get me wrong, some of us still do. But for most of us, tables have turned. In the name of 'keeping it kinky' men have become the new whiny bitches who want to be tied to the bed, whipped, gagged and then ridden senseless. They want fingers inserted in the ass. Since when?!?!  Abomination o! Let me let you in on a secret. When you as a man take control of your woman in the sheets and more so do it right, submission comes instantly. It's something unexplainable but true... Trust me. 
But if you're gonna let her dominate you especially all the time, my brother you're the wife in this relationship.

5. CAREER

i now get it why it is particularly hard for a man earning 80,000 Ksh to date a woman earning 500,000 Ksh. Yes, in ways more than one... She kinda is doing better than you. I'm sorry but it kinda is true. Especially in the brains of a feeble minded mediocre man. See, when the bills come, definately 3/4 of them will be paid by her earnings. If you as a man cannot handle the fact that it's a new world and learn of new ways to dominate your sexy beast of a power woman who is making waaaay more than you, you my man... Are the married. Not the marrier lol fake English but you get what I mean.

Part 2 will be up. 
Hope in ways more than none, I have helped you understand this new breed of women aye?

May the odds forever be in your favor  
Nyandia.




   

prof     prof     prof

Nyandia Gachago
About the Writer NyandiaGachago
OCCUPATION ICT Techie, Gadget Geek, Social Media Manager

I can't brag about my love for #God because I fail Him daily. But I can brag about His #love for me because it NEVER fails. #Billionaire in the making #BSc CIS #Heading to MSc CIS (Information Security and Control)

#humble #Jesus #Live #Life #Love




prof
Women should go back to what the Bible defines them to be... Good thinking, but me and you well know that more surprises awaits us from the women world!
Comment By:    JOASHKIPTANUIKIMETO On  14/08/2014
prof
true
Comment By:    NyandiaGachago On  18/08/2014
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